Goodbye Buddy

Chad's dad died Wednesday. His health had been failing over the last few months and while it wasn't unexpected it still hurts so badly. In the 16 years that Chad and I have been together Dad always treated me as his very own daughter. We joked that I was his fourth child. He loved Conner and Charli Grace (his namesake) dearly. He especially loved their shenanigans and chuckled at Chad and I pulling our hair out. (We call that 'paying for your raising' here in the south.) He bought the loudest, most obnoxious birthday and Christmas gifts and made sure they went home with us rather than stay in the toy box at his house. There were always hot-wheels cars in his desk for the kids. We even found some there the day he died... just waiting for the kids' next visit.

He was a meticulous planner and organizer. One binder contained everything needed for his arrangements. All Mom had to do was sign a few papers and everything was ready. He approached his spiritual life in the same careful way. Chad found his Bible filled with notes, family records, and records of blessings and answered prayers. Dad loved his God, his wife, his family, his work and friends. He built his house on the rock and we are all so much the better for it.

Goodbye Buddy. The wait is going to be hard, but we will see you again someday.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27

An Impromptu Trip

My bestie, Lisa, called this weekend and invited us along for an impromptu trip to Lake Winnepesaukah. Chad was at camp with our youth group, and I was a little nervous about driving so far with the kids by myself, but we loaded up the car anyway and followed the caravan north.

The adventure was totally worth the interstate driving and heat rash. (It was only like 100 degrees.) There were only a few rides the kids were too short to ride and they rode their favorites over and over.   Thanks Lisa and Jarrod for inviting us along and helping seize the day!

Charli and Reagan stuck together like glue.

We rode the 95 year old carousel several times.

I checked "ride a ferris wheel" off my bucket list.

Go out and have an adventure!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Do

Before

During (All Smiles!)

After

It has taken a looooong time for CG's hair to reach her shoulders. But honestly the look wasn't working. Multiple trips under anesthesia in the past year really thinned it out. She had a kind of wispy mullet thing going on in the back, but she wasn't ready to give up the hair that took so long to grow out. Not to mention that the lingering issues from having her head shaved at the orphanage made hair cuts not so fun.

This week our China friend, Lily, got an adorable hair cut. I showed CG the pictures, and suddenly she was ready for a big girl do. She jumped right into the chair at the salon, and without a single tear my baby became a big girl.

Welcome Home

Adam and Titus are home and settling in to their new life in the US. Reading their mom's blog and hearing how well they are doing makes me so tremendously happy. Thank you God for the miracle of adoption and the miracle of family. 

Jennifer, their mom, had this to say. "Another sweet end of the day...Adam told me 'Washington good, very good' then I said how about your family, mom, dad, sisters, brother, he said 'very good Ma, very good!' then he ran off giggling with joy."

Sunday Snapshot

I was in a wedding this weekend...

along with some of my favorite people.

Conner was a little gentleman.

I got to dance with this handsome fellow.

The bride was beautiful. Charli Grace felt like a princess.
It was an unforgettable weekend.

S is for Summer

*Pardon me as I have some fun with instagram.

Swirls

Squares

Sunbathing

Serious Swimmer

Family Day 3

On Monday we celebrated Charli's family day with spaghetti and meatballs, chicken legs, and cupcakes with red, white, and blue sprinkles. (She chose the menu of course.) The fact that she came home to us on July 4th makes the day all the more special. 

Coincidentally, we received some serious new braille gear this week. Miss Charli is the proud owner of a refurbished Mountbatten Brailler. It is quite possibly the coolest brailler I have ever seen. Her old brailler was like a manual typewriter, bulky and hard to press. The Mountbatten is electronic and gives immediate feedback for learning. It speaks each letter as it is brailled. I can even plug in a regular keyboard and braille anything Charli needs. It is going to make going to "regular" school so much easier for both her and her teachers.

Mainstreaming has been our goal for CG all along. She attended our school system's early intervention preschool for three years with fabulous results. This spring Charli was evaluated at our state's school for the blind in hopes of getting information to help her make the transition  to "big school." I walked in with her confident that she was going to wow the evaluator with her large vocabulary, solid phonemic awareness, print knowledge, and the several braille letters could recognize and produce on a brailler.

Well as they say, pride comes before a fall. Just a few questions into the evaluation CG clammed up. It was a long and uncomfortable morning. She managed to braille a, b, c, and whisper a few answers to the evaluator's questions. The more we coaxed, the more she pulled into her shell. This was not my girl at all. The old ghosts of anxiety and fear we have worked so hard to overcome were rearing their ugly heads in this unfamiliar environment. Still, I asked the evaluator to give me his honest opinion. The picture he painted of mainstreaming was far from sunny, warning that CG could fall further behind her peers academically. (Mind you other experts have told us exactly the opposite.) Of course I burst into tears.

Then the evaluator told me, "It's difficult to decide to send your child away." 

He really said that y'all.

Well, I spent the next two days doing what I usually do when I'm angry and upset. I cried A LOT. And I cleaned the house. By the end of those two days I had enormous bags under my eyes, a sparkling house, and a new resolve. Charli already had one set of parents who had sent her away because of her blindness and as long as I was breathing she wasn't going to have another. (Now I may have used some stronger language when I declared this to Chad. Poor guy has to take the brunt of my mama bear rants.)

So our mission this summer is to hit the braille and hit it hard. Just ask my mama, the best way to get me fired up is to make me mad and tell me something can't be done. I found a scripted curriculum called Kester Braille that we are using daily. We are a third of the way through the alphabet and things are looking good. We are sticking to the original plan and she will enter the same outstanding school where her brother attends and dad teaches. She will be the first print/braille reader they have had, and is being welcomed with open arms and plenty of support. I'm confident that with God's help things are going to be fine and our little trailblazer will be amazing.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Writing C

Looking for all the L's on the Page

Conner is working too. Poor teachers' kids never get a break.

Free

We released the butterflies this weekend. I can't help but think of what a fantastic metaphor they are for  transformation we find in Christ. Those ugly little caterpillars were changed into beautiful butterflies, no longer bound to crawl around in the muck. They were meant to soar.

Before the release, I had visions of cute photos of butterflies perched on the kids' fingers. The butterflies had different plans. One by one they zoomed out of their enclosure, over the house, and out of sight. Who knew a painted lady could be so quick?!

I only had time to snap a blurry picture of the one butterfly I was concerned about. She had emerged from her chrysalis with a bent wing. She was last to make her way out of the enclosure and I wasn't sure that she would be able to fly at all. She paused on my finger, fluttered her wings, and took off after her siblings. Even with her imperfection, she was meant to soar as well.

We are all like that butterfly. In some way each of us is wounded. Some physically, some emotionally, some more deeply than others. The little hurt butterfly could have cowered in her old place, satisfied to live the life she had always known on the ground. But she didn't. This week I pray that I can be like the butterfly, not bound by my weakness, but free in Christ to fulfill his plan for me.

He heals the brokenhearted
   and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

But those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Aspirations

 

 Last month we had an appointment with Charli Grace's low vision specialist. A low vision specialist is a optometrist who specializes in helping patients get the most out of their remaining vision. Our doctor also makes recommendations regarding school and the type of accommodations will be the most effective. She had not seen CG since well before her cornea transplant and the infection. She was able to assure us that CG's vision is essentially the same as it was pre-transplant. She also told us that with the right technology and accommodations that CG will be able to have a successful year in Kindergarten. 

She also connected us with Sight Savers America. They generously awarded us with a grant for a CCTV.  It is a flat screen monitor with a camera attached underneath. It magnifies anything you slide under the camera and can even adjust the contrast or color. She has one at school, but this is going to make a huge difference in her ability to do homework and enjoy picture books at home.

With this type of technology, the sky is the limit for CG. Her doctors have told us all along that driving will be one of her only limitations. (Although even that limitation may be gone in the future.) An education, a career, a family; these dreams are all within her reach. 

So far CG has had several career plans. Fold clothes at American Eagle. Be pretty teacher like mommy. (awww...) Have three babies and live with you and daddy. (uh, no)

At dinner this week we were talking about a family friend who happens to be an attorney. The kids wanted to know what a lawyer does so I explained that they know a lot about laws and help people follow them. I told CG she would be a great attorney since she is obsessed with interested in "the rules."

"But mom, who will drive me to work?"

"I'm sure we can work that out. But if you need somebody, I'll drive you."

Later at bath-time CG came up with a transportation plan of her own.

"You know mom, D (her best school buddy since 3k) told me he is going to marry me when he grows up. So HE can drive me around."

You've got to love a girl with a plan.

But you two and your three babies are going to have to find a place of your own.

They should be forming a chrysalis any day now, so I suppose this could be the ugly awkward teenage stage.

They are growing so fast that it is almost creepy.

They are getting bigger.

Meet the Pillars'

Meet Bill, Jill, Will, Lil, and Phil. They came in the mail today. These things thrive in the great outdoors so surely they can survive our house. Right?

He's Got My Number

There's a sucker born every minute... and I admit I'm one of them. Especially when it comes to this blue eyed boy. I am usually a brick wall when it comes to impulse toy purchases, but this one jumped out at us in the garden center of our local mega store. Spring is in the air and it is educational. I tried to hold strong but... I didn't stand a chance. He flashed those baby blues, squeezed out a few tears, and now I'm the proud grandmother of 5 caterpillars. (Well at least I will be when they come in the mail.)

Adios Atlanta

Today Charli's retinologist released us from his service. She will be back in the care of her glaucoma specialist who is much closer to home. Our goals now are to keep her glaucoma under control, maintain the sight she has, and have her fitted for a sceleral shell . We have had excellent care in Atlanta, but we are not going to miss the 2 hour drive. (4 hours round trip) However there are a few things I am going to miss about not visiting the ATL once a month.

The fun atmosphere of the Emory area that includes...

lunch at Everybody's Pizza...

And this Hummus.

 But the four hour round trip? That's for the birds...
We will be back to see these guys in May though. Maybe I can go that long without the hummus...

Milestones

 

Last week we began to notice some changes in Charli's damaged eye. I made a call to our surgeon and he confirmed that it is phthisis. This really doesn't mean any changes in her prognosis. It just confirms again what we knew all along. Her eye is at the end stages of this terrible process and there is no turning back.

It is hard some days for me not to slip back into thinking about those weeks following the cornea transplant and just how well CG could see. Then I think about all we went through during the infection and find myself right back in a dark place. The day I spoke with the surgeon could have easily been one of those days.

But then I looked at all the work displayed on our refrigerator... and I remembered all the milestones Charli has reached without the use of her left eye. She's writing her name and drawing stick people for the first time. She can count past 10, hop on one foot, and play games on her Leapster. She is absorbing Braille like a sponge. She can hit a ball off a tee and throw over handed. She's not looking back... and I guess neither should I.

Showing some attitude with that stance.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14

Oh Happy Day

Chad had the honor of baptizing Conner last month. He had been asking questions about Christ for a long time, and the Sunday after Christmas he told me that he wanted Jesus to live in his heart. At first I thought he was just making a play for the Lord's Supper grape juice, but he was so sincere that his dad and I walked him to the alter. Conner prayed for God to rescue him and live in his heart. When he was done he looked up at us with that smile that melts my heart every time.

A week or two later Conner went with his dad to Wednesday night worship service. (I was in Atlanta with CG getting the news about her eye.) Our youth pastor gave a very impassioned message that night. Conner must have been inspired, because as the invitation began he walked to the stage and asked for the mike. He proceeded to give his testimony and blow away any doubts we had about his understanding of the gospel. It went something like this, "Jesus is my savior. God doesn't want us to make sins, but if you do Jesus dieded (died) for your sins."  

I'm so grateful for a gospel that is simple enough for a child to understand, but deep enough to sustain for a lifetime. 

 Just look at that smile... pure joy.

And then he swam to shore. 

 
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Here she is...

Last weekend Charli participated in a Valentine's Day pageant organized by my school's PTO.  Pageants aren't exactly our thing, but it was a "natural" pageant (no flippers) and Charli loves any opportunity to dress up and twirl. Her best friend Reagan had signed up, so I figured why not. We borrowed a dress from our dear friend Robin, purchased sparkly shoes, and signed up.

When the big day arrived I was a little nervous. Charli's eyes are different and she deals with some posture issues that go along with being blind. Add to that the fact that I am not exactly a great hair stylist and I was really wondering how this was all going to go down.

Of course I should have known better than to worry. As soon as she hit the stage Miss Charli shone like a star. She held her head high, smiled, and waved to the judges. The crowd erupted in applause and Chad and Conner whistled. When she stepped off the stage, Charli was surrounded by her adoring fans (family, friends, and my 3rd graders). She didn't place, but when she was handed her participation trophy, she smiled like she had just been crowned Miss America.

A few days later, Charli strolled in as I was drying my hair and announced, "Mommy, you can use the dryer again on my hair for my next beauty pageant." Your next pageant? Oh boy!

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.
Helen Keller

Happy Birthday!

Conner buddy, I can't believe that we put 6 candles on your birthday cake this weekend. Watching you play with your friends at the party made me feel like the luckiest mom in the world. You are a funny, fun-loving, compassionate little guy who makes friends more easily than anyone I know. Last week one of your teachers told me that you have a "heart of gold." That really made me smile. Of course you have been making Daddy and me smile for the past 6 years.

In the words of Olivia's mother, "You wear me out, but I love you anyway."