Free

We released the butterflies this weekend. I can't help but think of what a fantastic metaphor they are for  transformation we find in Christ. Those ugly little caterpillars were changed into beautiful butterflies, no longer bound to crawl around in the muck. They were meant to soar.

Before the release, I had visions of cute photos of butterflies perched on the kids' fingers. The butterflies had different plans. One by one they zoomed out of their enclosure, over the house, and out of sight. Who knew a painted lady could be so quick?!

I only had time to snap a blurry picture of the one butterfly I was concerned about. She had emerged from her chrysalis with a bent wing. She was last to make her way out of the enclosure and I wasn't sure that she would be able to fly at all. She paused on my finger, fluttered her wings, and took off after her siblings. Even with her imperfection, she was meant to soar as well.

We are all like that butterfly. In some way each of us is wounded. Some physically, some emotionally, some more deeply than others. The little hurt butterfly could have cowered in her old place, satisfied to live the life she had always known on the ground. But she didn't. This week I pray that I can be like the butterfly, not bound by my weakness, but free in Christ to fulfill his plan for me.

He heals the brokenhearted
   and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

But those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Aspirations

 

 Last month we had an appointment with Charli Grace's low vision specialist. A low vision specialist is a optometrist who specializes in helping patients get the most out of their remaining vision. Our doctor also makes recommendations regarding school and the type of accommodations will be the most effective. She had not seen CG since well before her cornea transplant and the infection. She was able to assure us that CG's vision is essentially the same as it was pre-transplant. She also told us that with the right technology and accommodations that CG will be able to have a successful year in Kindergarten. 

She also connected us with Sight Savers America. They generously awarded us with a grant for a CCTV.  It is a flat screen monitor with a camera attached underneath. It magnifies anything you slide under the camera and can even adjust the contrast or color. She has one at school, but this is going to make a huge difference in her ability to do homework and enjoy picture books at home.

With this type of technology, the sky is the limit for CG. Her doctors have told us all along that driving will be one of her only limitations. (Although even that limitation may be gone in the future.) An education, a career, a family; these dreams are all within her reach. 

So far CG has had several career plans. Fold clothes at American Eagle. Be pretty teacher like mommy. (awww...) Have three babies and live with you and daddy. (uh, no)

At dinner this week we were talking about a family friend who happens to be an attorney. The kids wanted to know what a lawyer does so I explained that they know a lot about laws and help people follow them. I told CG she would be a great attorney since she is obsessed with interested in "the rules."

"But mom, who will drive me to work?"

"I'm sure we can work that out. But if you need somebody, I'll drive you."

Later at bath-time CG came up with a transportation plan of her own.

"You know mom, D (her best school buddy since 3k) told me he is going to marry me when he grows up. So HE can drive me around."

You've got to love a girl with a plan.

But you two and your three babies are going to have to find a place of your own.

They should be forming a chrysalis any day now, so I suppose this could be the ugly awkward teenage stage.

They are growing so fast that it is almost creepy.

They are getting bigger.

Meet the Pillars'

Meet Bill, Jill, Will, Lil, and Phil. They came in the mail today. These things thrive in the great outdoors so surely they can survive our house. Right?

He's Got My Number

There's a sucker born every minute... and I admit I'm one of them. Especially when it comes to this blue eyed boy. I am usually a brick wall when it comes to impulse toy purchases, but this one jumped out at us in the garden center of our local mega store. Spring is in the air and it is educational. I tried to hold strong but... I didn't stand a chance. He flashed those baby blues, squeezed out a few tears, and now I'm the proud grandmother of 5 caterpillars. (Well at least I will be when they come in the mail.)

Adios Atlanta

Today Charli's retinologist released us from his service. She will be back in the care of her glaucoma specialist who is much closer to home. Our goals now are to keep her glaucoma under control, maintain the sight she has, and have her fitted for a sceleral shell . We have had excellent care in Atlanta, but we are not going to miss the 2 hour drive. (4 hours round trip) However there are a few things I am going to miss about not visiting the ATL once a month.

The fun atmosphere of the Emory area that includes...

lunch at Everybody's Pizza...

And this Hummus.

 But the four hour round trip? That's for the birds...
We will be back to see these guys in May though. Maybe I can go that long without the hummus...

Milestones

 

Last week we began to notice some changes in Charli's damaged eye. I made a call to our surgeon and he confirmed that it is phthisis. This really doesn't mean any changes in her prognosis. It just confirms again what we knew all along. Her eye is at the end stages of this terrible process and there is no turning back.

It is hard some days for me not to slip back into thinking about those weeks following the cornea transplant and just how well CG could see. Then I think about all we went through during the infection and find myself right back in a dark place. The day I spoke with the surgeon could have easily been one of those days.

But then I looked at all the work displayed on our refrigerator... and I remembered all the milestones Charli has reached without the use of her left eye. She's writing her name and drawing stick people for the first time. She can count past 10, hop on one foot, and play games on her Leapster. She is absorbing Braille like a sponge. She can hit a ball off a tee and throw over handed. She's not looking back... and I guess neither should I.

Showing some attitude with that stance.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14

Oh Happy Day

Chad had the honor of baptizing Conner last month. He had been asking questions about Christ for a long time, and the Sunday after Christmas he told me that he wanted Jesus to live in his heart. At first I thought he was just making a play for the Lord's Supper grape juice, but he was so sincere that his dad and I walked him to the alter. Conner prayed for God to rescue him and live in his heart. When he was done he looked up at us with that smile that melts my heart every time.

A week or two later Conner went with his dad to Wednesday night worship service. (I was in Atlanta with CG getting the news about her eye.) Our youth pastor gave a very impassioned message that night. Conner must have been inspired, because as the invitation began he walked to the stage and asked for the mike. He proceeded to give his testimony and blow away any doubts we had about his understanding of the gospel. It went something like this, "Jesus is my savior. God doesn't want us to make sins, but if you do Jesus dieded (died) for your sins."  

I'm so grateful for a gospel that is simple enough for a child to understand, but deep enough to sustain for a lifetime. 

 Just look at that smile... pure joy.

And then he swam to shore. 

 
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Here she is...

Last weekend Charli participated in a Valentine's Day pageant organized by my school's PTO.  Pageants aren't exactly our thing, but it was a "natural" pageant (no flippers) and Charli loves any opportunity to dress up and twirl. Her best friend Reagan had signed up, so I figured why not. We borrowed a dress from our dear friend Robin, purchased sparkly shoes, and signed up.

When the big day arrived I was a little nervous. Charli's eyes are different and she deals with some posture issues that go along with being blind. Add to that the fact that I am not exactly a great hair stylist and I was really wondering how this was all going to go down.

Of course I should have known better than to worry. As soon as she hit the stage Miss Charli shone like a star. She held her head high, smiled, and waved to the judges. The crowd erupted in applause and Chad and Conner whistled. When she stepped off the stage, Charli was surrounded by her adoring fans (family, friends, and my 3rd graders). She didn't place, but when she was handed her participation trophy, she smiled like she had just been crowned Miss America.

A few days later, Charli strolled in as I was drying my hair and announced, "Mommy, you can use the dryer again on my hair for my next beauty pageant." Your next pageant? Oh boy!

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.
Helen Keller

Happy Birthday!

Conner buddy, I can't believe that we put 6 candles on your birthday cake this weekend. Watching you play with your friends at the party made me feel like the luckiest mom in the world. You are a funny, fun-loving, compassionate little guy who makes friends more easily than anyone I know. Last week one of your teachers told me that you have a "heart of gold." That really made me smile. Of course you have been making Daddy and me smile for the past 6 years.

In the words of Olivia's mother, "You wear me out, but I love you anyway."

A Miracle for Chris

Chris has a family!!! Please pray for them as they Race to China for their TWO Xinyang boys.

" God sets the lonely in families"  Psalm 68:60

Meet Chris

This handsome fellow is Chris. He currently lives in the same orphanage that Charli Grace spent the first 2 years of her life. Of course Chris isn't his Chinese name. He was given the name by a group of missionaries who visited the orphanage in 2007. They were quite taken with this sweet and bright little boy. One of the missionaries, Anita, kindly gave me permission to share what she wrote about Chris.

"There is a boy who we think is about 8 years old who we call Chris. He has bilateral cataracts and is a very, very smart and bright boy. He has taken a special liking to our guide/translator. She is very tender to him and you can see that what is between them is very special. Today had found out that we will not be at the orphanage tomorrow because we are going shopping (more on that in a bit). Then Friday we will only be here for a half day before we leave. He began to cry big tears. Our guide took his face into her hands and was able to tell him about a heavenly father who will never leave him. He is always there. She was able to tell him much more. There was another little girl sitting close by and listening. On one hand this is a super praise. We have been praying for these children every day, that some day they would know the heavenly Father. But we couldn’t imagine how that message would ever get to them. And here God presented her with the perfect opportunity. She said, “I had to tell him.” Please pray that this would grow in his heart. That what he may not fully understand now, he would tuck away and that the Holy Spirit would use it in his life in a powerful way."

Chris has waited for a long time for a family of his own. Far too long. But praise God his file has finally become available on the shared waiting child list. Please help us by praying that God will send the right family to bring Chris home. The seed of hope that was planted in his heart that day in 2007 should not be allowed to wither. Feel free to share this post and pray that God will work a miracle. For more information leave a comment or email me at knitbud at yahoo dot com.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Snowed In

Thanks to Winter Storm 2011 we have missed 5 consecutive days of school. Add in two weekends plus the MLK holiday and it means the kids have not been to school in 10 days. 10 days!

I spent some of the time crafting and made a few cute things. Knitted baby hats, a Valentine’s Day outfit for CG, but my favorite project was for Conner.

Now just incase you can’t tell, it’s a set of Angry Birds made from toilet tissue rolls. Seriously. The boy loves to play Angry Birds on my i pod, so on a whim we put these together. He has played with them for the better part of the day. TP roll birds could probably be used as evidence that I am in fact cracking up, but at least (for today) my i pod isn’t covered with sticky finger prints. And that, as Martha would say, is a good thing.

A New Year

As many of you know the last few months of 2010 were eventful, huge, difficult, devastating, amazing… It is impossible to choose just one adjective to describe. In September Charli Grace received a cornea transplant in her left eye. We found a gifted surgeon in Atlanta, with extensive experience performing transplants for children. We knew we were taking a risk but, we stepped out in faith. Things couldn’t have gone more perfectly. In less than 36 hours her eye, which had been completely blind, was crystal clear. Her vision went from 20/1260 to 20/400 overnight. We held our breath, vigilantly administered anti-rejection drops, and watched our daughter in wonder. For nearly two months everything was perfect, but as you have probably guessed by now things didn’t stay that way.

On October 25 Charli awoke with her eye terribly swollen. Fearing the worst (rejection of the cornea) we rushed her to Atlanta. She was admitted to Scottish Rite Hospital with orbital celluitis, an infection of the tissues surrounding the eye. A CT scan showed that the actual eye was unaffected. She was put on IV antibiotics and powerful antibiotic eye drops. Two days later, despite the antibiotics, the infection invaded her eye resulting in endophthalmitis. (We later discovered that this was caused not by her corneal graft, but by the tube shunt placed in 2008 to relieve her glaucoma.) Even her team of doctors, leaders in their field, were shocked at how aggressively the infection spread. We spent 8 long days in the hospital. Charli had 3 surgeries to correct the damage. At one point we feared she would lose the eye all-together. Thankfully, that did not happen. It has been a long, painful recovery, but Charli is better. Sadly though, we have had to accept the reality that her left eye will most likely never see again.

To call this an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. I have asked some hard questions and been in some pretty dark places. But as this story unfolds God’s grace shines through on each page… even the really crappy sad ones. Literally hundreds of people, from Holiness sisters to Benedictine monks, have prayed for Charli and our family. Our family and friends showered us with love and kindness in countless ways. My 3^rd grade class even organized The Charli Grace Foundation (complete with officers) during my absence.

And Charli… sweet, amazing, stubborn, strong, brave, Charli… She’s the hero of the story. At one particularly low point I wondered if she would ever be the same after such trauma. But praise be to God, her spunk and spirit continues to amaze everyone around her. I’m glad to report that she’s back and…

Here...

we...

go!

Is this the way that I had planned for things to go? No way. Have I had angry moments where I cried out WHY? You bet. Is God good? Does he want what is best for us? Yes and YES, even when it is hard to understand. We're hanging on to that hope with all that we've got.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. --- Jeremiah 29:11

2010 in Pictures

January

February

March

April

May

June
July


August

September

October

November

December